The Magical World of Democracy

Countless United States citizens identify themselves as “Independent voters.” This label signifies the voters’ lack of one-sided Partisan views. Every election, independent voters are forced to make imperative decisions: side with one party over another OR do not vote at all OR waste a vote on the “Independent” on the ballot. The Independents’ vote will surely matter this November, so for anyone with “Independent” friends, let me offer a suggestion.

If your friend cannot decide on the better man in this election, ask him/her this one simple question; allow time to ponder; and if your friend possesses sound judgment, he/she will choose wisely. Ask, “Which one of the candidates would make a better president in the Disney attraction, The Hall of Presidents?"

For almost forty years, parents, children, grandparents, and young-adults-who-want-to-be-children-again take a break from the creative insanity of Disney World and spend thirty or so minutes in reality by sitting through the Hall of Presidents attraction. Now think about it: after watching the always-too-long US History 101 film and being introduced to the creepy 43 animatronic-presidents, would you rather see a dire bald guy completely indistinguishable from the other old white-haired guys, or someone different? I don’t know about you, but I want change (and no, I’m not just saying that because Obama’s black—I think he would genuinely be more interesting than a fake John McCain—shit, the real John McCain isn’t even interesting).

I must confess that the attraction itself is quite delightful. I remember my last Disney World outing when a small group of us decided to all take in the Hall of Presidents presentation. I sat in the theater, pissed, waiting for the lame history lesson to start—I didn’t crave a lecture during my vacation. Little did I know, I was about to take a journey just as wild as any Disney attraction. I not only learned a bit about our history, but I actually met the presidents! Watching Abe Lincoln talk to us, the audience, at this Disney attraction is as close to magic one will ever get while sober—and it was incredible.

The Hall of Presidents helped launch Disney World’s opening day in 1971, so it’s officially the park’s oldest attraction. It was taken from an idea originally stemmed from the mind of Walt Disney himself. After changes through the years, the attraction is better than ever. It’s even now a tradition for the current president to record his fake robot’s speech. How great is that? I can picture Disney’s Imagineers trying to make George Bush’s fucked-up speech sound intelligible for the millions of visitors.

If Johnny McCain’s elected, then 50 years from now, he’ll certainly become one of those presidents whose name’s announced and everyone in the audience thinks, “I’ve never heard of him before.”
“Oh, he was that old guy who died, right after a week or two, right?” (John McCain, the 21st Century’s Zachary Taylor.)

Sad News

On September 1, 2008, PBS permanently stopped airing episodes of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Granted the shows have probably become somewhat-outdated, the lessons taught were and will always be universal. Rogers stopped making episodes in 2001 after 998 episodes (why wouldn’t he just go for the full 1000?), but re-runs have regularly aired since. I’m sure I learned to tie my shoes by watching the show, as have many people born the past 40 years. It’s a shame that little kids growing up today are clueless at to what they’re missing.

Not only is it a shame for little kids, but it’s a shame for Pittsburgh. The television show represented our little city at such a high degree. WQED, the station based in Oakland and the country’s first community-sponsored television station, was the original broadcaster of the show shortly before it moved to PBS. The show filmed in Pittsburgh throughout its television run. Most (if not all) of the cast was made up of prominent Pittsburgh figures. Rogers himself even taught at local universities and churches, and he took part in various local charities.

Read a little bit of biographical information and you’ll surely be impressed. He was one hell of a guy. He did no commercial endorsements of any kind and only supported non-profit organizations. In 1979 he spoke openly about his support of the VCR, for the product was then a controversial issue due to copyright infringement laws (much like MP3s are today). Rogers even spoke at the trial, Sony Corp. of America v. Universal City Studios, where it was found legal for consumers to record television shows/movies onto a VHS tape, mainly because of his testimony. He also helped raise federal funding for public television by making a speech to the high courts. He helped children deal with loss after the 9/11 attacks. More than 40 honorary degrees and countless lifetime achievement awards were given to him for his work. He was even presented the Presidential Medal of Freedom a year before his death, and a red sweater is on display in the Smithsonian.

What I like most about the guy is that he totally practiced what he preached. He addressed complex issues on his show like war, death, anger, and poverty, and would use the same dialogue in real-life. He never talked down on anyone. The whole reason he entered the television business wasn’t for fame or popularity reasons: "I got into television because I hated it so," he said. "And I thought there was some way of using this fabulous instrument to be of nurture to those who would watch and listen."

If he ever ran for any public office, I would hate to be the person running against him, for no dirt could be found on Fred Rogers. No one could say anything negative about this guy! He was a friend to everybody, and everyone knew this. For example, on an outing with a grandkid in 1990, Rogers’ car was stolen from its parking spot in Oakland. After the local news reported the incident and the thief realized whose car he stole, the car was returned to Roger’s home unharmed with an apology note.

Mr. Rogers was born in Pittsburgh and completed much of his legendary work in Pittsburgh. He died in Pittsburgh five years ago, so this city certainly holds the dear responsibility of keeping his name alive so that twenty years from now, kids don’t think of him as a geezer in a sweater but as a guy who practiced what he preached more so than probably any public figure the past 30 years. I place him alongside Walt Disney and Jim Henson as guys who accomplished a lot for our country by proving that entertainment can really make a difference in young people’s lives.

The Mister Rogers Dinosaur in front of WQED Studios in Pittsburgh.

P.S.....Sarah P, John M's VP, spoke at the RNC

I decided to watch the much-hyped acceptance speech of Sarah Palin last night because, hey, The Dark Knight lived up to its hype, so why wouldn’t she? Needless to say I had a great time watching her bash Senator Obama, praise “hockey moms,” and kiss every single Republican’s ass for 40 minutes.

Unfortunately the Republicans are creating an atmosphere where no one can critique them. If someone criticizes John McCain, the Senator instantly cues up his tragic POW story to make the debater feel like shit for questioning his “maverick” qualities. I have news for John McCain fans: He’s not a maverick.

Tom Cruise was Maverick!

The 1972 Ford Maverick Grabber was a Maverick.

The awesome Cedar Point roller coaster, The Maverick, is a Maverick.

He's an old man who should remain a senator at least until he finds a new rich wife to marry (I admit, he’s not a bad senator). I don’t care what one did over 30 years ago, especially when it wasn’t his choice. Bragging about POW camp suffering (as horrible as it is) is equivalent to one bragging about serving in war after being drafted—it isn’t your choice!

“Mr. McCain, your economics plan makes no sense!”
“Back in Hanoi at my camp, we didn’t have tables, chairs, or economics.”
“Mr. McCain, didn’t you lie to the American people by insisting that you wouldn’t run negative ads?”
“As I laid in my empty room, the blood oozing from my head, my captures called me a liar too. They were horrible people. They were Communists. Are you Communist?”

Be nice to people with special needs.

On the other hand, anyone who berates Sarah Palin is obviously sexist.
Here’s my opinion of Sarah Palin: I don’t like her. It has nothing to do with her “lack of experience." As a new college graduate, I’ve come to realize that little to no experience doesn’t and shouldn’t amount to your job qualifications. She’s qualified. Much of the media insist that she can’t run a country AND take care of a large family at the same time, but I disagree. Men and women do it everyday, plus she’ll have others working for her, so again, that’s a harsh critique. My opinion doesn’t surround the fact that she’s already distastefully used her youngest son for special-needs sympathy votes (seriously, during/after her speech they were passing that kid around like a football). It has nothing to do with the fact that she admitted to smoking pot. If anything I think it’s awesome and classy that she admitted that—even though it’s painfully obvious (judging by her kids’ names). She DOES have a biting sense of humor, The pitbull joke? Cclassic Sarah Palin humor that keeps you coming back for more! The fact that she’s “popular” doesn’t bother me either, even though the Republicans pride themselves on her popularity, while other popular candidates are merely “celebrities.”

Governor Palin seems like she could have been a great person—if only she didn’t hang out with the playground bullies. Remember the kids who talked shit on your mom, gave you a wedgie, and bragged about their Nissan-steel lead-safe lunch carrying cases while you were stuck with an plastic GI Joe lunch box with matching thermos? Those were Republicans.

What will the wild-tottin’ governor do about gun control? What will this woman do about equal rights? Gay rights? Didn't think so. She wants to remove sex-educated school programs in public schools…unless they only promote abstinence, because obviously, abstinence-only sex education works, right Sarah?
What will she do with our energy concerns? Ms. Palin claims that she’ll stand up to the oil companies, but McCain’s only oil-based policy gives tax breaks to the major companies. She doesn’t believe in human-caused global warming (poor polar bears)—therefore she doesn’t believe in facts. She believes in lies, for her acceptance speech was filled with them. Not only was her speech filled with inaccurate propaganda, but it contained no substance. There I said it. Call me a sexist. Check out her in-depth description of her 12-year job as mayor:

“Before I became governor of the great state of Alaska I was mayor of my hometown. And since our opponents in this presidential election seem to look down on that experience, let me explain to them what the job involved.
“I guess -- I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities.
“I might add that, in small towns, we don't quite know what to make of a candidate who lavishes praise on working people when they're listening and then talks about how bitterly they cling to their religion and guns when those people aren't listening.”
Rather than providing us with information, she resorts to attack politics AND berates community organizers. Real classy, eh? Community organizers possess great responsibilities, especially when they’re based in dangerous cities. Now as far as her mayoring skills, if she was the mayor of New York, or Chicago, or LA, then I’d have more faith in her, but there are more hairs on John McCain’s head than people in her hometown.

She ended her speech with this line:

“If character is the measure in this election, and hope the theme, and change the goal we share, then I ask you to join our cause. Join our cause and help America elect a great man as the next president of the United States.”

I agree with the Obama camp. The Republicans label the campaign as a “measure of character” because they have no policies to run on. There won’t BE any change. All of these Republicans who walk on stage and endorse the “change” John McCain will surely emit from his old scraggy ass are full of crap. THEY are the reason we need change! They bitch about the current state of Washington politics, but THEY’RE the ones not doing a good job. They’re the reason Washington needs “shaken up.” If they like John McCain so much, why don’t they spend the same amount of energy to fix things on their own? I think the same thing about the Democrats too---they’re not any better.

I don’t understand why I’ve cared about this election so much, but I do, and unfortunately I’m having a problematic time seeing both sides of the picture. I’m usually very bi-partisan and can see both sides of issues, but I’m having a difficult time seeing how John McCain, the man who’s been in the system for 27 years but has nothing to speak of except his Vietnam days, should run the country.
Sarah Palin is like an attractive date—you’re initially taken by her/him, but once you get to know the person, you find that she/he is the same as everyone else…though she does get points for marrying a man with Eskimo heritage. Seriously…we need an Eskimo in the White House. I’m not kidding.

They're gonna be taking over the White House soon.

Hey Kids, Don't Steal Crappy Music!

Prisons are congested with utterly horrible people: rapists, murderers, and now, apparently, bloggers.

Los Angeles resident and active blogger Kevin Cogill was awakened Wednesday, August 28 at gunpoint by five FBI agents. After trashing his house (I presume) and beating him to a pulp (again, just a guess), they took him “downtown.” He now faces three years of prison and a possible civil suit for allegedly posting songs from the new Guns ‘n Roses album, Chinese Democracy (the band deserves prison time for a stupid title like that), on his blog (http://www.antiquiet.com/) last June.

According to the Family Entertainment and Copyright Act of 2005, sharing any copyrighted material before its release date warrants three years in prison and the possibility of a $25,000 fine (duh!). You know those “Terms of Agreement” electronic contracts you never read and simply press “Agree,” well I’m sure this law is in there somewhere. I'm sure it also states, "Don't f*ck with Guns n Roses," so he's probably in double trouble. Somehow he obtained these currently illegal songs and assumed it be a grand idea to post them for all to hear. Epic Fail!

During his hearing, the prosecutors originally demanded an outrageous $50,000 bail, which means the prosecutors either take their jobs ultra-seriously or simply love defending the rights of shitty music. The judge luckily put a stop to that. Cogill is currently out on a $10,000 bond and awaits a preliminary hearing in late September.

So what should happen to him? Should his ass be thrown in prison where our tax dollars will pay for this “menace of society” to be confined where he belongs: alongside the rapists, terrorists, murderers, maniacs, and nutcases that shouldn’t be roaming streets? My answer: yes.

He publicly shared a Guns n Roses album! Doesn’t that fall under obstructing the peace? If you’re going to break the law and risk three years of prison time, at least share some decent music. An upcoming Radiohead album maybe? Even an upcoming Kayne release or something by Hanna Montana (at least the kids would appreciate it) would do…not Guns n' Roses. Most of this band’s audience probably doesn’t even own an internet connection.

The album should arrive in stores at the end of November (rain), which is a real shame. Come November (rain), Kevin will face his (rightful) prison sentence while the rest of us face new shitty music on the already dire radio. Axel Rose wins--everyone else loses, and that’s a sad day in world—whether Chinese Democracy really exists of not.

This is their new album cover. I feel utterly embarrassed to post this on my site.

Democratic Poo Humor

This is an article taken from The Hotline: National Journal's Daily Briefing on Politics. It's concerning Senator Joe Biden and his vice presidential shortlist considerations leading up to the Democratic National Convention.



August 20, 2008
It Takes A Bulldog

WILMINGTON, DE - With a growing horde of reporters crowding his driveway, Sen. Joe Biden is doing his best to hold his tongue.

Under constant surveillance the could-be-VP is deflecting questions about his status, one day after he raised eyebrows after professing not to be "the guy" (then later claimed to know nothing more than we did). Instead, he is presenting himself as an everyday Joe Sixpack, heading out in his pickup truck and offering reporters some of the casual conversation for which the the loquacious senator is known.

"A successful dump," he shouted from his car window when asked if he had anything to report. Earlier, he left with a pile of logs in the back of his truck.

"I got a second load, guys, anybody wants to help me, let me know," he said.

Asked if he had any reaction to the announcement that his caucus-mate Joe Lieberman would speak at the Republican National Convention, Biden said, "I have not had another single thing I can tell you."

Even when tossed a softball and asked about his trip to Georgia this weekend, Biden held back.

"I'll do that after this is all over," he said.

Biden presented the stakeout press with bagels and coffee this morning, saying it was good to talk to us again.

Some in the quiet neighborhood have complained about the distruption caused by cars and satellite trucks parked along the tree-lined street. Other locals have taken to slowing down as they pass by his house, some stopping to ask if there was any news, others offering encouragement. One passer-by pointed to his pooch in the backseat, and asked if Biden needed a mascot.

"Gotta be a bulldog to deal with you-know-what," the man said.

Convention Sex......ewwwwww

I found this to be the most interesting article concerning the upcoming Democrat/Republican conventions:

http://www.abcnews.go.com/Blotter/Story?id=5629167&page=1

An undercover reporter has to make some quick friends and get the inside scoop of what these dirty old men are doing behind closed doors. Remember the crazy sex scene near the end of Requiem for a Dream with the girls? That's what I'm thinking.

Too bad Eliot Spitzer still isn't around; these girls would make some good money.

King of Kings

I wanted to eat lunch by myself for once, so for my midday break I drove to the closest food establishment in the area: Burger King. I try my best to avoid fast food these days, for it’s utterly disgusting and severely unhealthy, but my car was on ‘E’ and wasting precious drops of fuel is not an option.

The line inside wrapped around the line-separators in front of the register, so I waited for 10 ridiculous minutes. As I waited, I casually glanced around the room and developed an insensitive realization: every person in this restaurant was overweight—very overweight, and remember, this is lunch time, so the joint was pretty full. I only say this because I care dammit!. Being very overweight risks severe health problems--it's a big problem (no pun intended). Because I had the time, I counted the number of overweight people in the restaurant dining area (31 people) and the number of skinny people (only 2); concerning the skinnies, one was an 80-something grandma out with her pudgy grandchildren, and the other was an older man in a military uniform. Everyone else fit into the sweat pants-wearing overweight class.

I blame the food. This food is like poison! I can’t eat this. I was beginning to feel sick. I’ll nibble on a french fry (freedom fry?) and turn into some unhealthy slob! It’s not these people’s fault that they aren’t healthy: blame the food! This stuff will kill me—I have to leave. NOW!

“Can I help the next person in line?” Shit. The lady behind the register was referring to me. I was trapped. I had to order.
I cautiously settled for a simple cheeseburger, a small order of fries, and a vanilla milkshake. Safe enough…right?

A dirty, salt-covered table in the corner seemed appropriate for dining, for I could easily hide myself. I sat, watched the others, and noticed that nobody was really happy eating this food. They ate because they had to. They settled with this place because it was cheap and it wasn't their own kitchen. They ate because even though it didn’t taste great, it gave their taste buds enough of grace and nourishment to last them throughout the day.

As I sat, this younger overweight woman wearing flood pants, a faded pink shirt, and a small backpack that read “I HEART Pandas” rose from her seat with her empty cup in hopes of a safe trip to the refill station. Her walking space must have been limited in the aisles, for she tripped over a chair. Unfortunately for her, it was one of those chairs that are cemented to the floor, so she ended up going down instead of the innocent inanimate object. She hit the floor, but no worries—her mustached boyfriend (or brother) and her mother who wore a dirty off-white shirt with bunnies playing on the front stood up and almost helped her. They didn’t move too far from their table though. The fallen woman stood up by herself, wiped off the floor crumbs, and continued on her journey for a refill. Nobody in the dining area seemed to care about the woman’s well being after she fell. Most didn’t even glance over when they heard her head bounce off the floor—Burger King made everyone zombies.

We all fall. Sometimes we get back up, realize what we’re doing is stupid, and make a change. Sometimes we fall and don’t learn a lesson: we continue our journey to the refill machine. Every person in that restaurant and almost every person in our country will eventually have to make a choice concerning what they eat, but what are they going to do? Will they change their ways or continue their journey to the refill station.

I think I’ll be somewhere in between. Maybe I'll get a refill, but if I do, I'll take my time and try not to trip over any furniture.

Convention Fever!

Watch the commercials advertising the Democratic and National conventions on CNN and Fox News. They’re incredible! I never knew the said conventions had the excitement of a Hollywood blockbuster. The makers of action movie trailers designed these commercials, because all of the elements are there: overly-dramatic music, quick shots, tons of graphics, extreme narration, and just oodles and oodles of anticipation.

What will happen??? Will Dick Cheney leap from the rafters and shoot-to-kill the Iraqi war protestors innocently huddled outside the entrance? Will a Democratic secret agent attack Mrs. McCain with her one apparent weakness: a killer handshake? The Michael Bay-coordinated cage match with Hilary Clinton and Barack Obama will totally blow China’s Olympic Opening Ceremonies out of the waters.

Our 24 hour news channels promise us some fireworks. We’ll see if they can deliver.

Trash!!!!

How does one rid of his/her outside garbage cans? Let’s say you don’t want them anymore—you purchased a few new heavy duty ones on sale at Home Depot, and you want to get rid of the old ones, but how does one throw garbage cans in the garbage?

Placing a note on them for the garbage men is pointless—you’re assuming that people actually read the sides of garbage cans. Placing your old cans inside the brand new cans is more redundant than anything. Maybe just leaving the old empty container out for them will convey the message, but still, how can one expect the garbage men to throw away the one thing that they’re not supposed to throw away?

Therefore, garbage cans are one of the most sacred objects in our world.

If you placed a bag filled with thousands of dollars in a trash can, it would get tossed in the truck come pickup day. If the Mona Lisa was trashed in a dumpster behind the Louvre, it would surely end up at the garbage dump. If a person filled his waste cans with authentic American flags, though the garbage men would probably assume the said person has problems, they would still do what they’re supposed to do: trash the “trash.” On the other hand, if an old garbage can sit, waiting to be thrown away, they’d assume its owner made a mistake, and they’d keep it in its respected spot—for why would one throw away a garbage can?

Ssssssshhh!!!

I work in an office 40 hours a week. There are, of course, perks and drawbacks—ok, more drawbacks than perks. It’s certainly enjoyable to spend the day in an office where the others are fun and possess common sense (a rarity these days it seems). Still, some things I simply detest.

Now I’m not being cynical or negative—no matter who you are, you’re always going to experience things you just can’t stand, whether it be at home or at work or with friends or even with a boyfriend/girlfriend. You bitch about it or you can suck it up. Because I’m bored and I feel like writing, I’ll bitch.

The thing that I absolutely hate more than anything while working in the office is when people whisper. There it is. I said it. Whispering.

The cause of this disposition is due to my paranoia: I always sense that they’re talking about me. This causes me to also listen in to the conversation. Though I only recognize key words here and there, I always discover that though they’re never talking about me, they’ve now made me a pest for listening in to their conversations…and I hate that. They’re almost always talking about people from other branches or venting about my boss—never about me. I’ve been told that everyone in the office simply “loves Rick” (or “Ricky,” like many of them call me), but I still can’t shake off the fact that their whispering may one day be about me (assuming it already hasn’t).