Favorite Music Videos of 2008

Here are some rad music videos for 2008. Enjoy.

Pony, Pony, "Cross the Fader"

Feist, "I Feel It All"

Omaha Bitch, "Orgasmic Troopers"

BPA featuring David Byrne and Dizzee Rascal, "Toe Jam"

The Buddy System, "Clap Paws"

What I Would Write if I Really Cared...

Dear Ichiban Restaurants:

Though the service in your restaurants is always hospitable, I unfortunately write to you with a minor issue that took place this past Friday during the lunch hour.

After seated and waiting for over fifteen minutes, our Japanese waiter finally appeared, ready to take our orders. As he went down the line taking each guest’s order, it was finally my turn. After deciding on Hibachi Shrimp (which by the way was delicious) and an order of water, I also asked for a coffee (I was in dire need of one). In response, he chuckled and informed me that Ichiban doesn’t serve coffee. His response would have been exceptional, were he not to laugh again and state in a clearly mocking tone, “you’re in a Japanese restaurant you know. We don’t serve coffee here.” So not only was I denied coffee, but was also reduced to feeling like an imbecile.

I was tempted to inquire why he was speaking English in a Japanese restaurant, or why California rolls (created in the United States in the 1960s) were served in a Japanese restaurant, or why I can still drink Coke, Sprite, or a number of non-Japanese alcoholic drinks in a “Japanese” restaurant. Instead I accepted his reply, but informed the rest of my table that contrary to popular belief, there are coffee shops on every other street in Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka, Kobe, and even in Nara, Japan.

So as I don’t intend to influence any additions to your drinking menu, and I understand that Ichiban tries to provide a true Japanese experience by presenting a menu that western Pennsylvanians believe to be authentically Japanese, the incident was still odd and somewhat unfortunate.  

Anyways, I wish Ichiban restaurants the best of luck in the New Year, and hope to taste a Hibachi lunch again (with or without coffee) soon.

Sincerely,
Ricky Moslen

Thou Shall Not Be a Hypocrite!

So many Evangelicals, Catholics, and Presbyterians cite the Bible as the primary reason they dislike any concept of gay marriage. I used to love listening to their arguments, because they were so hilarious...now they're just really annoying. What's even worse is the fact that they're ignoring other important issues out there. For example, the Bible's stance on shrimp. Why are none of them commenting on the Bible's shrimp rejection!?! Don't they care about our country!?!!!

Well at least some people still care about morality:

http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

Sigur Ros Videos

Music videos aren’t what they used to be 10 or 20 years ago. Say what you will about Sigur Ros, but they are probably one of the only bands making worthy visual representations of their music. The band members and various video directors effectively construct images and stories that allow the Icelandic musicians to create short films (rather than simply "music videos").

Sigur Ros Videography

Svefn-g-englar (1999)

Sigur Ros’s first video. They enlist the Perlin Theater Group to dance around in angel outfits in an open field—but when slowed down, the shots and actors create beautiful imagery.

Viðrar vel til Loftárás (2000)

Two soccer-playing boys fall in love, but, of course, society pulls them apart. Another striking video filled with a ton of symbolism. After viewing, every time you hear the song you’ll think of this video.

Untitled #1 (vaka) (2003)

A nuclear winter would suck. Sigur Ros agrees. This is an incredibly sad yet stunning video. Someone could easily base a whole film off of this one idea.

Glósóli (2005)

This is probably my favorite video from the band. In a weird way it reminds me of the book Catcher in Rye when Holden talks about his thoughts of the children playing in a field and jumping off a cliff—and how he yearns to catch them all. The children in this video are forced to leap into adulthood too—with interesting results.

Saeglopur (2005)

If you haven’t figured out the trend, all the band has to do to any footage is slow it down and it somehow fits perfectly with their music. In this video, they actually speed up the footage, and it works to perfect effect. The kid can really hold his breath underwater for a long time…

Hoppipolla (2006)

This one will surely put a smile on your face. I wish all old people could enjoy their lives this much. If all of Iceland’s senior citizens acted like these fine folks, my ambition to visit would rise even more.

Gobbledigook (2008)

Who DOESN’T want to run around, make out, and dance naked in the woods when they hear this song? I know I do! (NSFW)

Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur (2008)

I absolutely adore the song, but strongly dislike the video. Other than showing off the band’s unique fashion, the live footage really offers nothing as unique as their other videos. I wasn’t even going to post it, but for continuity sake:

Heima (2007)

Not necessarily a music video, but a trailer for the film Heima, which not only documents a number of the band’s performances, but also beautifully represents the country of Iceland. One can’t imagine the band’s music based in any area other than this gorgeous country.

Black (sooo politically incorrect) Friday

UPDATE (to my last entry):

The overweight/sweat-pants-and-Disney-shirt-wearing women (Wal-Mart shoppers) weren't the only ones killing each other Friday morning. Apparently two gentlemen shot each other in a Toys 'R Us on Black Friday thereby rising the shopping extravaganza's death toll. Two quick thoughts:

1) Who brings guns into a Toys 'R Us? Isn't that the last place in the world anybody would need a gun.?

2) Maybe I should have gone out shopping...those deals must have been insane. My loss.

Another Reason to Hate Wal-Mart (and people)

The New York Times reported today that a Wal-Mart in a New York City suburb was the scene of an unfortunate death. A 4:55 AM crowd of crazy Black Friday shoppers (nearly 2,000 people) broke the front doors' hinges s and charged into the storet, knocking down many employees, including a 34-year old temporary worker. Picture the scene from The Lion King where Simba’s trapped in the wildebeest stampede that later causes Mufasa’s death—except at least the wildebeest ran for fear of their lives. But hey, I'm sure these consumers had perfectly great reasons to disregard other humans as they raced toward the smiley face sale signs. 

The Wal-Mart crowd apparently ignored the helpless male body lying on the floor, and even as other employees and police officers tried to administer CPR on the powerless man, the entering mob continued to push the rescuers out of the way. Police and paramedics rushed the seriously injured man to the nearest hospital where he was pronounced dead shortly after 6:00. Meanwhile, back at the Wal-Mart, those same stampede-people were no doubt bitching about the long lines they had to endure in order to leave with all of their stuff.

This should be an embarrassment to all Americans. Not only are we ludicrously sacrificing employees’ Thanksgiving in order to shop at 5 in the morning, but we’re now sacrificing their lives in order to save a couple bucks on a television or DVD player. I think a security tape should be released of the incident so that those involved can view it and explain to their kids that those few cheap toys sitting under the tree are valued higher than some temp worker’s life. Christians already believe that Christmas is important because Jesus sacrificed his life for the world—let’s not allow anyone else to sacrifice a life so that we may continue our bleak consumerism.

P.S.- This just in. A security tape WAS released detailing the ridiculous Thanksgiving incident. Watch with caution (it's pretty graphic): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMwO9PX4_7c

Smells Like a Job Interview

The alluring yet implacable nature of job interviews quickly becomes blasé if one endures too many. Let’s face it—jobs interviews are difficult! Some are nerve-racking while others prove downright terrifying. In all honesty though, I do quite well under pressure (assuming I thoroughly prepare for each interview), and I truly do love the challenge.

A one-hour interview where an interviewee must prove him/herself to be versatile, confident, skillful, yet not too cocky can drive one bonkers. This is why a two-hour nap must strictly follow any interview (assuming one makes it out alive), because that nap’s well deserved! I recently took a four-hour nap after an audacious interview where I was questioned in a roundtable discussion by five, yes, FIVE ladies all at once. It was quite the interview orgy. Like any good orgy though, when this cornucopia of bodies huddles into one small space, problems arise at unexpected times…problems completely out of my control.

Everything was going charmingly well in this roundtable interview determining my fate with the company. We were discussing—as opposed to me answering monotonous questions. My questioners were five middle-aged women, which was great, because somehow I’m quite the Casanova with older women. Things did get briefly awkward when one woman critically commented that I “like to talk using my hands a lot,” which slightly perturbed the interview’s pacing and instantly heightened my self-consciousness. Other than that, laughs were had and I was proving to be quite the factotum in their eyes. We were conversing as best friends who’ve known each other for years—and I was the leader of this cool middle-aged female posse. I was about to suggest we relocate to an elegant restaurant to continue our conversation, but something horrible happened: someone farted.

This was the worst possible turn the events. Someone parped, and the only one I knew free of any guilt was me—trust me, I didn’t fart in the middle of a job interview! Not only did the horrid smell indicate a definite splurge of flatulent gas in the air, but the crime was also committed silently. Now let’s be honest: all farts should utilize at least two out of the five senses, preferably sound and smell (I do not advocate tasting, seeing, or touching anything that perturbs from one’s nether regions), and I know for a fact that in that tiny, poorly-ventilated conference room, that unpleasantly muted smell did not verbalize while entering our once-sterile air. Remember that I was the only male in the room, so if gender roles proved any genuineness, the four innocent non-farting women no doubt thought I was the one shooting air biscuits during my own interview. It gets worse! The horrid smell wouldn’t leave the room!

The invisible gas caused one woman's eyes to start watering. This wasn't going to end well. I continued answering questions as I stared at their I-know-someone-just-farted-but-I’m-a-professional-and-must-keep-a-straight-face faces, and all of their glaring signaled to me that I was the culprit. Should I say something to defend my innocence or would any comment heighten the awkwardness? No respectable manager would hire someone who causes this kind of mischief in the office, and I wasn’t willing to take the heat for this troubling endeavor while some guilty old woman in the room continued to rip herself a new asshole.

I wanted a woman to excuse herself from the room—that would give us a culprit, but that didn’t happen. I was beginning to feel dirty--every time my mouth opened the invisible gas hit my tongue and my throat tingled. Maybe none of these women possessed the guilty butt cheeks--maybe it was a ghost! Maybe it was like one of those scenes in A Christmas Carol when Scrooge revisits important moments of his life, but in my life, this interview was an important moment. My old cranky self and a ghost were invisibly watching the interview in the corner of the room, but unfortunately the ghost possessed a nasty/silent habit that disrupted our once-wonderful conversation.

Perhaps it wasn't a ghost, and one of the women embarrassingly just let one go. Maybe she has a problem; if so, the other women in the office are no doubt used to it by now, and I probably shouldn't be so inconsiderate. Maybe that day was Nachos and Cheese Party Day in the office, and my poorly timed after-lunch interview aligned with her ass's Nacho Cheese Redux Party. In the end, I left the interview hoping that the women would reflect on the interview experience with their minds and not their noses. I left blissful that I survived the nerve-racking situation. On the other hand, another mystery woman left the interview simply happy that her undergarments survived (or DID they?).

I'm a Mac, and I'll Soon Take Over the World

Another sure-tell sign pointing towards the end of the world: The “I’m a Mac,” “I’m a PC” ads.

These commercials and advertisements are grounded in a slogan that personifies our modern technology, and I think it’s safe to say that this is the first step to our eventual war with the machines—James Cameron couldn’t have written it any better.

I’m personally not a “MAC” or a “PC.” I’m ME. Though I somewhat prefer one over the other, I refuse to identify myself as any multi-billion dollar company's product. Both are corporations solely after my money (and soon—my soul). Soon we won’t identify ourselves as computer brands—the computers will identify themselves as us. Shit, they’re already smarter than us! For example

- A GPS knows its way around my neighborhood better than I do.
- Microsoft Word can spell better than I can.
- Facebook has millions more friends than I have.
- Medical computer technology can save more lives than doctors can.
- Computerized security systems can protect more people than the police can.
- E-mails deliver messages faster than any postal worker.

As one can see, technology is far superior to any human being. Technology will surely rule the world in a few hundred years, and who is to blame? Let’s start with Mr. Steve Paul Jobs.

Steve Jobs has a lot of nerve actually. I’ll be the first to say that Wall-E was probably the best cinematic experience 2009 had to offer, but the fact that Pixar, a company so closely aligned with both Disney and Apple, had the nerve to portray our future as a world where technological breakthroughs allow us to sit on our fat asses and do nothing, while the major company’s products do the work for us, and…wait…hey that sounds like us now! Disney, Apple, IBM, GM, and a plentiful of other major corporations provide the means to shield ourselves from the outside world while the gadgets and gizmos hypnotize us. I walk onto the public bus and see businessmen diligently working via their Blackberries (thanks to John McCain!). College students toddle around campuses ignoring their surroundings thanks to the newly over hyped iPhones. iPods grace the ears of high schoolers, thereby shielding them from participating in the outside world.

The humans in the Wall-E movie are hyperbolic manifestations of us. We allow technology to do everything for us. Soon we’ll all be stupid idiots who sit around, smoke weed (or have the machines smoke it for us), and watch television all day. The only ones profiting will be those programmers at the top of the work chain. Depressing, I know. We must begin to take the first steps to prevent these unfortunate circumstances. Step #1: Recognizing that Wall-E is a propaganda film in every way that Triumph of the Will was. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

Just look at her design. She looks like Steve Jobs' wet dream.

Scary Election Coverage

Election night coverage was insane. First of all, Fox News was uncomfortably the most entertaining cable station on television (Brit Hume’s sarcastic deadpan humor is amazing).* ABC News, CNN, and even Comedy Central’s Indecision 2008 special sucked. They were simply boring: the anchors spent a lifetime analyzing meaningless exit polls, only to reassure us that the polls mean nothing until they receive more results; they interviewed randomly unknown people with no credentials; and they treated viewers like kindergartners. (“Hey kids, look at this big, big television we got! Let’s draw pictures on the map!”)

Easily the most uncomforting moment of last night’s election coverage occurred on CNN, as Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper interviewed two individuals via a hologram image—yes, just like in Star Wars. I caught the middle of an interview between Cooper (who I used to regard as a classy journalist) and an Obama supporter, and it initially looked as if he was talking to the Emperor. It creeped me out—we’re now living in a Sci-Fi movie!

According to David Bohrman, CNN Senior Vice President, “Virtual elements in a real set look so much better than a real person in a virtual set.” Why must everything be ‘virtual?’ What’s wrong with reality? Too good for you? ''It's so complicated,” he says. “The crew is basically shooting someone who isn’t there.” So CGI ruins movies—it’s now ruining cable news channels.

The Salt Lake Tribune described the technology as “very complicated.” “CNN will have 44 cameras and 20 computers in each remote location to capture 360-degree imaging data of the person being interviewed. Images are processed and projected by computers and cameras in New York. There will also be plasma TVs in Chicago and Phoenix that will let the people being interviewed see Blitzer and other CNN correspondents. Bohrman says the network can project two different views from each city so Blitzer can appear to be in the studio with two holograms.”

This setup is preposterously more complex than setting up a camera on a tripod and mic’ing the on-air talent, and it didn’t even look good! Blitzer approved this new technology, for he thought it brought a more intimate studio setting to the interview. I’ve always thought that “on-the-scene” interviews/reporting purposefully don't bring a more intimate setting, because they DON’T TAKE PLACE in the studio. As a viewer I want to know what’s happening in those locations—on the scene--with the crowd. Don’t block out the ambient sound or the interviewer’s surroundings! That's the whole point!

There is no need for this kind of technology. It scares me. Next election we’ll no doubt have Terminators as news anchors; in 2016 we’ll have Tom Cruise’s character from Minority Report reveal the results before they actually happen; and in 2020, Election Night will be delivered to your home via HAL (it’ll only be 19 years too late).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deoOTqT-SMI


* They were entertaining until 11 PM anyways--their lack of enthusiasm was soon tragic. At 11 PM, the magic hour, MSNBC rightfully stuck to shots of the passionate crowd at Grant Park—I watched wishing I could’ve made a one-day trip to the windy city.

The night ended well!

I Went to Bed with a Friend and All I Got was This Lousy E-mail

According to Fox News and the Washington Post, admitting to that special person (or former special person) that you inadvertently gave him/her a sexually transmitted disease has never been easier! You don't have to talk to them! You can even do so anonymously. inSPOT, an internet service already used by over 30,000 cowards, allows individuals to alert sexual partners of recent roadblocks in their relationship...roadblocks including (but not limited to) syphilis, gonorrhea, HIV, and other diseases so dirty that Fox News won't report them.

In some ways this is a resounding resource. Many rightfully embarrassed folks whimper and shy away from disclosing that their partner's little genital herpes outbreak didn't just mysteriously appear; but perhaps if admitted anonymously to belittle any awkwardness, people can actually be informed and treated before symptoms get worse.

On the other hand, this disclosure method plays out like a grandiose trick. I forgot to mention that these "oh, by the way" notices are sent via e-mail...specifically, via e-cards. Imagine arriving home and plopping onto the couch with your trusty laptop to check e-mails. Oh look, an E-greeting! Nice! Somebody cares about me. A birthday greeting? Maybe an "I love you?" You then open the card to discover a cute teddy bear (perhaps wearing a bow tie for good measure) dancing to an obnoxious Teletubbies-like theme song as bubbly text spins onto the screen revealing your new case of chlamydia. The bear is now the least of your worries. Oh. Chlamydia. Just what I always wanted. You'll surely be paranoid when opening e-mails for the rest of your life.

Unfortunately the private information disclosed through this service is confidential, so doctors can't state whether it's actually lowering STD rates. Common sense tells me that this e-mail option can certainly help though--especially with younger people who may be too embarrassed to bring up the subject, for it's better to be a pussy than be an asshole and a pussy. I just hope that I don't receive an e-mail with the subject line, "E-card from a concerned friend re: your health via inSPOT" anytime soon. If I do, let's just hope it's April 1st.